POV

HORSEPOWER

I would have never spelled Hemorrhoids correctly. Is there an ounce of truth in the depiction of the treatment? This looks like a lost scene from the Beatles movie "Yellow Submarine". I can't believe that the mountains (almost identical to those featured in a flight simulator I had in about '86) representing the butt in this ad might be weirder than the hemorrhoid that has a mouth and eyes

I awoke this morning to an email alerting me to the pre-sale of an event. That event? Extreme! Not sports, the band. Just trust me, they were a band, and then the singer was in Van Halen. I'm serious, you just don't have that Van Halen record, but it exists. Look, I'm not here to argue, look it up. I'm used to presales being for shows that have a high demand. Here I was under the impression that Gary Cherone was the most hated man in Rock n' Roll. But the plot thickens, this isn't just any old Extreme concert, this is Rock n' Roll Fantasy Camp. The fantasy in this case being that you would want to rock out with Extreme. How bad are you in need of a jam session if you're going to post up at the computer, mouse in hand waiting for the presale to begin? So you can say you played "More than Words" with these bozo's? Maybe R n' R Fantasy camp has a capacity of like 8, that's gotta be it. Uh, no thanks, I'll be waiting as always for Nelson to have a camp. Although that camp might be held in a beauty parlor, I imagine those boys have to be cutting and styling by now. Ultimate Rock n' Roll Fantasy camp would have to be Ozzie teaches you how to blow rails, Axl Rose instructs how to dress, Danzig tutors on evil, Noel Gallagher on attitude, and then if you want Tom Petty will show you a few chords.